Welcome to the summer issue of Double Dare Press. The theme for the issue is explosions of all sorts from the powerful images in Howard Good’s poetry to summer splashes of color and light at play in Heather Alexander’s photography. Take a peek at the dark side with Adam Kane’s True Crime Corner or celebrate the very cool and very dead with Suzanne Nielsen’s regular column, check the latest must-have music by Rebecca Haven, or enjoy the silly antics of Imelda Freeley’s adventures in dating. Taylor Gorman takes us on a tour of Allen Ginsburg’s kitchen, and Laurel Walsh gives us good instructions if we would like to fall in love with a married woman. You never know when such advice might come in handy. Play with fireworks, come on, we double dare you.
Embroidered Guilt by Heidi Kuschel
My sister Chantal and I were on vacation at a small fishing village twenty minutes from Cancun, Mexico. It was August, and the Yucatan heat was solid and damp. The weighty air seeped through our skin, and made us plump and ripe. Neither of us could wear anything that did not have some stretch to it. We were awkwardly exploring dirt roads. Continue reading ‘Embroidered Guilt by Heidi Kuschel’
How to Fall in Love with a Married Woman by M. Laurel Walsh
How to Fall in Love with a Married Woman: Steps One through Five
M. Laurel Walsh
Step 1: Vilify her husband.
This process requires that you twist any stories that she tells you about the husband. “Walter…” she begins, and his name signals to your brain to begin the ogreification that triggers your profound dislike of the man. It is important that you can imagine him with hairy, unbrushed teeth, each cheek ablaze in an acne that requires antibiotics to clear. (Walter is not his legal name. Walter is the name I call him so that I can shorten it to “Wally” and therefore shorten his (in my mind) already miniscule cock.)
Why would you need a how-to manual that outlines the way to fall in love with a married woman? Why gain expertise in an endeavor that even armchair psychiatrists recognize as unhealthy? Aren’t we supposed to avoid lusting after and desiring the wife of another man? The Ten Commandments mentioned something about this exact thing, and there is a billion dollar industry built around the how-to’s of healing potentially-satisfying-yet-not-actually-very-fun marriages like the one that my beloved Sarah has with Walter.
Continue reading ‘How to Fall in Love with a Married Woman by M. Laurel Walsh’
Destination Nowhere by Rebecca Haven
He picked me up outside of Lodi, just off of 71, on his way to the turnpike. What he was doing driving through there, I don’t know. I didn’t really care. I just wanted to get out of town.
Continue reading ‘Destination Nowhere by Rebecca Haven’
How I Ended up in Allen Ginsburg’s Kitchen by Taylor Gorman
…So it began around “Beowulf,” which was told orally by a man I could not comprehend. Next to him, an Irishman was translating the Old-Anglo words for me: Seamus Heaney, actually, which was odd: why could I recognize Seamus so easily? Regardless, I had to interrupt the translation—
“What—the—fuck!” I yelled at Seamus.
“I’m sorry?” he said, Irishly.
Continue reading ‘How I Ended up in Allen Ginsburg’s Kitchen by Taylor Gorman’
It isn’t love if our embassy isn’t burning,
if the windows haven’t exploded
in a shower of diamonds from the heat,
if the ballerina isn’t staggering around on stage
as from an accidental elbow in the face,
or if the knife-thrower, subject to ironic applause,
doesn’t suddenly doubt the accuracy of his aim;
it isn’t love if the moon isn’t breathing,
if we don’t receive unsought help from machines,
an automated summons to appear in court
and our bewildered joy upon entering the night
a moment after everyone else has left.
Continue reading ‘Poetry by Howard Good’
Featured Artist - Heather Alexander
Featured Artist: Heather Alexander
I can remember far back thinking, “Hey, that would be a great photo,” but not saying anything because my dad would agree. Next, there would be my brother and I, holding hands on the cliff’s edge trying to grab some unhappy mountain goat by the antlers. If I heard, “You will be so happy to have these pictures when you were older,” one thousand million infinity times, I wouldn’t be lying.
Continue reading ‘Featured Artist - Heather Alexander’
George Carlin: Vicodin and Red Wine
Much of what has been written of the seven words that can’t be said on television, and about the fact that Mr. Carlin (age 20) was at the Lenny Bruce concert when Lenny was hauled off on obscenity charges. Continue reading ‘George Carlin: Vicodin and Red Wine’
by Mary McDunn
My love for northern Minnesota began many years ago. When I was a young girl, many summer vacations included a 2-3 week family camping trip to the BWCA (Boundary Water Canoe Area). Getting ready was a big part of the process; we had to pack absolutely everything that we might need. Continue reading ‘Northern Narratives’
Humor by Imelda Patricia Freeley
Recently I was out to dinner with my best friend who is an utter manizer (her made-up word to keep me from using the more familiar word “slut”), super fun, but egads, a predator totally. Farrah (giving her one of Charlie’s Angels names for a pseudonym out of pure love) was telling me about her latest blind date. She has been on match.com for nearly two years. Last year alone Farrah went out to coffee, on average, four times a week. It took its toll on her bladder, and she had to switch to herbal tea because she kept getting yeast infections.
We’re Baaack…Best and Worst of 2007
