Humor
Nixon was great
I recently discovered something that all American citizens need to hear and fully understand. Richard Nixon was great. Definitions are important and so I will say that you must agree to this caveat. Great people, according to me, can swear well (professional swearers are in my book “great”). This guy could possibly stand as a new American cussing hero. If you are in the anti-cussing school of greatness, we will have to agree to disagree. When discussing strategy for campaigns, Nixon liked to say this of his team approach, “Let’s ratfuck him.” You know, the imagery, the nuance, the underlying claim that such a feat is humanly possible, regardless of how improbable, makes it work for me as a lovely expletive.
Excellent swearing (not mediocre or god forbid, amateur swearing which should neither be attempted nor tolerated) amuses me. Nixon also said that San Francisco was so full to the brim with homosexuals that he wouldn’t shake hands with a person from that city. Clearly, not a fan of the politically correct language movement, but isn’t there a kind of authenticity about a man who once said to Kissinger, “Henry, you’re a jew. What do those people have against me?”
Who tapes themselves? Nixon taped every conversation. Personally, I’m annoyed that people own cameras. Let’s not record the minutia of the passing years; especially if occasionally, I get acne. Imagine if every conversation you had was recorded, that would be rough. There would be inconsistensies that would be difficult to defend. Maybe that is why we all have a hard time loving Nixon, because there is enough of his recorded speech to prove that he is a liar.
Things you can’t deny about Nixon’s central interestingness:
• Impressive, Olympic-style sweating
• Gargoyle-like facial features
• Ruthless political approach (ratfucking has to hurt)
• Son of Quakers (his folks were devout, said “thee” and “thou”)
• Held drunken White House conversations with paintings (JFK’s)
• Easiest president to imitate (hold up two “peace” signs and scowl while saying, “I am not a crook!” Keep bottom lip loose and jiggly)
I leave you with a lovely and telling quote that proves Mr. Nixon rocks. “Don’t get the impression that you arouse my anger. You see, one can only be angry with those he respects.” Ouch.
© M. Laurel Walsh 2007
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joey has pictures of me in NY (nothing of the scope of irish burlesque) that she keeps showing to people, “you want to see some pictures of heather? they are kind of WILD” no they are not. i sang with the cuban because my aunts wanted to enjoy my “lovely mischievousness” not because i was wildly inebriated. i am in your camp, always have been, with those teetotalers who document others fun….i called her on it too